Friday, June 14, 2013
I just finished watching Jim Breuer's Documentary More Than Me, Breuer one of the top touring comedians, SNL Alumn beloved radio guest/host and manic cackler brought his 82 year old dad along for the ride on his Breuniversity tour for this Doc.
Like Breuer, More Than Me is layered with compassion humor love and pain. Breuer shows the singular pain, doubt, and fear any caregiver feels all while showing how much he loves his Octogenarian father.
Brewer's dad a WWII bomber airman, and hero has seen time ravage his body yet takes it all in that certain stride that only those of his generation seem to be able to muster. Mobility issues, unwrangled bowel movements and what is certainly a bit of dementia, a diagnosis Breuer fights with the best of us keeping his dad engaged and reminded of his loved ones.
After trying the full time nurse route Breuer explains how he knew both he and his dad would be better off with his taking over the Care-giver roll. So off on the tour bus they go through foul smelling bathroom incidents and incidents that fall short of the bathroom to loving conversations and good natured pestering The Breuer men find out more about themselves and their relationship than I bet they bargained for.
I come to More Than Me from both directions having taken care of my dad, moving him in with us and becoming his primary care giver as well as being now in a situation where my own illness leaves me in need of care and support.
My dad a strong proud Air Force Veteran and former track and field athlete lost both of his legs after a long fight with diabetes, a fight he did not have the weapons to wage that took a lot out of him. Still dad after his long stay in the hospital and rehab centers came home and seemed as though nothing was wrong. Legs, what legs? I saw while caring for and living back with my dad the relationship we should have had all of my life but dads are busy working and living their own life to be there for their children especially back then.
Now I have always had a very close strong loving relationship with my boys and that hasn't changed one bit, but I have seen the weight my sickness has laid on their shoulders and the fear they have grown to live with. They have had to watch their dad fall from Super Hero status to barely able to do a damned thing and I feel so guilty over this sometimes that I can hardly stand myself.
But back to Breuer anyone whether care taker or cared for should watch Jim Breuer: More Than me they will assuredly come away with a new sense of themselves and the relationship they can have with their parents.