Jim Breuer: More Than Me

I just finished watching Jim Breuer's Documentary More Than Me, Breuer one of the top touring comedians, SNL Alumn beloved radio guest/host and manic cackler brought his 82 year old dad along for the ride on his Breuniversity tour for this Doc.


Like Breuer, More Than Me is layered with compassion humor love and pain. Breuer shows the singular pain, doubt, and fear any caregiver feels all while showing how much he loves his Octogenarian father.


Brewer's dad a WWII bomber airman, and hero has seen time ravage his body yet takes it all in that certain stride that only those of his generation seem to be able to muster. Mobility issues, unwrangled bowel movements and what is certainly a bit of dementia, a diagnosis Breuer fights with the best of us keeping his dad engaged and reminded of his loved ones.


After trying the full time nurse route Breuer explains how he knew both he and his dad would be better off with his taking over the Care-giver roll. So off on the tour bus they go through foul smelling bathroom incidents and incidents that fall short of the bathroom to loving conversations and good natured pestering The Breuer men find out more about themselves and their relationship than I bet they bargained for.


I come to More Than Me from both directions having taken care of my dad, moving him in with us and becoming his primary care giver as well as being now in a situation where my own illness leaves me in need of care and support.


My dad a strong proud Air Force Veteran and former track and field athlete lost both of his legs after a long fight with diabetes, a fight he did not have the weapons to wage that took a lot out of him. Still dad after his long stay in the hospital and rehab centers came home and seemed as though nothing was wrong. Legs, what legs? I saw while caring for and living back with my dad the relationship we should have had all of my life but dads are busy working and living their own life to be there for their children especially back then.


Now I have always had a very close strong loving relationship with my boys and that hasn't changed one bit, but I have seen the weight my sickness has laid on their shoulders and the fear they have grown to live with. They have had to watch their dad fall from Super Hero status to barely able to do a damned thing and I feel so guilty over this sometimes that I can hardly stand myself.


But back to Breuer anyone whether care taker or cared for should watch Jim Breuer: More Than me they will assuredly come away with a new sense of themselves and the relationship they can have with their parents.


Hugs,


Vince

10 Easy, cheap, and manly things you can do to make the life of your chronically ill guy friend a bit better.

First of all we are guys and don’t seem to want your help, can’t ask for it and wouldn’t know how to if we did, but we do need it, just look at us.
Just like the girls we don’t need a lot of money spent on us and would probably only feel guilty if you did, after all we are or were the breadwinners. Christine at BYDLS wrote about being thoughtful, we’re guys we don’t do thoughtful; at least not in public still help and company are appreciated.
Being a guy and being chronically ill is a double whammy, when asking for help it’s hard for us to inconvenience you and even harder for us to look like we need help.
I stole this next part from Christine Miserandino at butyoudontlooksick.com just copied it and outright stole it thanks Christine you are an inspiration to us all.
The hardest thing about chronic disease is that it is chronic. I had a friend who had a really bad flu and she received flowers that very week. With me – since I am sick all the time… I get nothing. Am I any less sick, sad, frustrated, lonely, or bored. NO, I need your love and support now more than ever. When everyone else forgets that I am still in this struggle with my illness….. please remember. It didn’t go away, I didn’t forget. I need you to be my friend.
So like they say at Nike:

Just Do It!

So here is my list enjoy and add to it in the comment section.

1. Come spend time with us you don’t have to do anything just sit there, we are guys we don’t need to talk about “It” or anything else for that matter if we want to we will, otherwise just be with us.

2. Take us somewhere not something big just to Lunch some of us can no longer drive and are prisoners in our own homes. You know us, you know our restrictions so maybe rock climbing is out of the questions but all you can eat wings at Wings R Us would be awesome.

3. We had big plans to fix the drippy faucet or repaint that wall covered with dark blue paint and can’t do these things anymore so come over and Sneaky Pete help us to do it. Remember we are fragile beasts and have to think we are still capable of doing things so at least let us think we are. Oh and don’t just show up with the supplies and expect to get to work we will let that unintended insult fester. Hint: we must shop for our own supplies at the Hardware Store.

4. We already have the gadgets surprise us with a season of one of our favorite series or movies, software, etc.

5. E-Gift Cards to I-store (blech) or Amazon Digital our gadgets need filling this is where we do it.

6. Guys don’t do Sudoku we do math problems and Crosswords keep that in mind and pick us up some Puzzle books, we don’t have the attention span for the ones with one kind of puzzle so get the mixed ones. We like our puzzle books like we like our nuts easy to chew mixed and with the answers at the back.

7. Magazines don’t let us fool you most of us don’t give a darn about car magazines we look at them to look cool in waiting rooms, secretly we would appreciate People, US Weekly, or other pop culture mags.

8. Lotion, lotion, lotion, this is one of those things we don’t get for ourselves and to tell you the truth most of us will go around looking like a lizard before we even think to moisturize. As a guy buying lotion has a certain connotation, so going to the store to pick it up can be embarrassing.

9. FOOD not the hospital stuff, but real good American junk food, even just an order of McDonald’s fries will make us swoon, especially if we have been inpatient for awhile. Check with our doctor and the hospital to make sure this fits in to their dietary plan then ignores it and get us some fries.

10. Just ask, we are not likely to ask for any kind of help be it physical or psychological so just ask if we need anything we are likely to say no but ask anyway.
You Never Know